FOOD NETWORK JOURNAL:

11/30/05:

Well, well, well. Crazy day today. Flew into New York, was immediately shuttled into an interview, then a meet and greet with the other finalists. Everyone seems so cool. I'm sure this is going o be an amazing experience...I can't wait! We all sat and chitchatted and ate some pizza. It was really nice. Lots of Californian's!!! Crazy stuff. Too funny. One Floridian and one person from Brooklyn. Everyone else was from Cali! There must be a conspiracy! :0) Anyway, tomorrow up bright and early, gotta be ready to roll at 6:30 a.m., yeah! Bring it! It's on! Ciao.

12/1/05:

Well, today was absolutely crazy. Start time at 6:30 a.m., it's now 11:50 p.m. and we're in the green room. Everyone is burnt. It was an amazing day, so cool and so nuts. It's so strange to me that you can become so close to 7 other individuals in such a short period of time. Everyone here is really so amazing and I can completely understand why each of us was chosen to be here because we all bring a unique element to the competition. Today we had a competition where we had 30 minutes to prep in order to do a 5 minute demo. It was of our "favorite food item". Mine was a great steak which I always love! I kept it simple and utilized some french ingredients (cream, onions, white wine and dijon mustard) to create a sauce for the steak. I think it went pretty well. I was really happy with the demo. Then we met Bobby Flay, Mario Batali and Iron Chef Morimoto. So incredibly cool to get feedback and critique from the top chefs. I mean, how amazing is that? There was a whole lot of stress and it was so great to just be involved in the process. Later on we got to watch our favorite food item demo and I have to say...it was so much fun! I had no idea what I'd look like on camera and how it would go. As I watched myself I thought I was a huge dork and totally funny. I looked like I really enjoyed myself and was having a great time in the kitchen. My personalilty was really out there and I felt that it was fun, interesting, querky and I think that I'd actually watch myself if given the chance! Too funny. That was a whole lot of fun. What an amazing and exhausting day!

12/2/05:

So today we had a call time of 6:15 a.m. Yesterday was quite the day...a little bit of a blur to be honest. So many things happened and it's hard to keep it straight. One of the biggest things that happened was the competition with Chef Morimoto, Chef Mario Batali and then Bobby Flay. Morimoto is a very handsome man in person! For Morimoto we had to filet a fish, julienne a carrot and chop an onion. It went just ok. I seriously look like I've never chopped an onion in my life...it took me probably 45 seconds to get the darn peel off of the onion, and I actually DO know how to filet a fish...but you certainly wouldn't have guessed it by watching me do it in front of Morimoto...oh my goodness! For our challenge with Mario we deconstructed a dish that he'd prepared and I proceeded to use "yummy" quite a bit...nice. They'll probably send me home today! At the end I was challenged to plate a dish for Bobby. I guess you could say I'm just needing to get rid of the nerves and be myself. That's going to be the key to all of this I think. If I can showcase my personality and let it show through I'll be much better off. Today after our challenges of course, we had a class with Robert, the executive chef for the Food Network kitchens. We also had a challenge to use very precise culinary descriptions of a dish that we were presented with. Mine was an olive oil cornbread cake with a rosemary/peach simple syrup. The food was absolutely amazing and I described the dish pretty well...I think it could have been better but it's a learning process! I'll get better at it. It was so completely nerve-wracking going through the NON-elimination last night. I was really afraid Jess or Andy were going to go home and they were both standing right next to me, it was soooo tough. There were a lot of highs and lows, which was the hardest part I think. That and being "on" from the moment you walk into a particular setting or someone says "go"! Today we met Rachel Ray, which has been the highlight of my whole trip so far. She's so absolutely relatable, lovely, sweet and engaging. She spoke to us on our level and was genuinely helpful. I really learned a whole lot from listening to her. She really made me feel like "hey, I can do this"! The biggest point she made was to be a storyteller. The food, as she put it is of secondary importance. While it's important, the food will move its way along, but engage your audience and relate to them and they'll relate to you. It was so wonderful. Really a rejuvenating experience. Bob Tushman did my critique today and gave me some things to work on. Apparently when I'm nervous I get a little "too cutesy" and can potentially turn off the audience with some of my commentary that may be a little off color, such as when I plated the lobster with the "butt" and "head", "pee'd on the floor", etc. I also use too many words like "yummy", and can't say "hey now". He says I need to discover a new descriptive vocabulary, which I think is probably very true. They made some valid critiques and I need to do my best tomorrow to work on what they told me...be myself and let my personality show. I need to get rid of my nerves, work on the fatigue factor and just bring it like I did in my running and in my everyday job. That's the only way that I can be successful here.

12/4/05:

Today call time was at 7:30 a.m. I believe that today is going to be a big day. Something big is brewing. Last night I just studied my blue sheets of homework, tried to come up with some new descriptive terms to better round out my vocabulary, watched a little food network and tried to remember why I'm here. This is such a huge deal. I really need to focus on everything, remain calm, have fun and remember that I have a huge support network at home. Today we prepared one of our "quick and easy recipes". I did a 30-minute prep of my roasted sausage and bell pepper recipe and then did a 5-minute demo. I had what potentially could have been a devastating mistake that I made. I misunderstood the "swap-out" concept. I thought I was going to have a pre-made swap-out that the Food Network kitchen staff would prepare because my recipe took anywhere from 45 - 55 minutes to cook in the oven. When we were waiting in the green room to take our turn to do our demo, I luckily figured it out! I had to completely re-vamp everything I'd done in my head and do it all over completely differently. It could have been a complete disaster and I really could have eliminated myself if I hadn't pulled it together. Thank goodness I did with the help of the other contestants...we came up with a game plan that I executed fairly well in the demo. Thank goodness I did pull it together. I survived another day! :0) Unfortunately Jess was eliminated tonight. That's the downside of this process I guess. People we've met and have formed some sort of bond with will slowly have to go. This is a competition and it's part of it, although I must say it's a tough, tough part. The judge's critique of me was that I need to show my personality more. Because I've dropped a bunch of my normal sayings, it's left me a little bit flat on camera. They think that I'm very organized and have a great personality; I just need to show it more. Sooo, I need to re-vamp my vocabulary, become comfortable with it, make it my own and just be "on" each and every day.

12/6/05:

Call time today was at 7:30 a.m. We did a demo today using the IFB in our ear, broadcasting what we thought was a live satellite feed from a morning show in which we were going to be asked questions live while doing our breakfast demo. Now THIS was interesting!!! We had 3 minutes to do everything. I was wondering how in the heck I was going to get everything done in my demo and answer a bunch of questions at the same time. We were to do this two times, one with one person and one with another interviewer. Unbeknownst to us, this was all a joke essentially. They were all in on the joke and completely screwed with us! They took away my knife so that I couldn't split my vanilla bean, my maple syrup was completely solid and my infused, cooled milk was boiling. Ultimately, I just did my very best to roll with everything that was going on. I think I did well and even plugged the show for the Food Network. I did however, say "yummy" 3 or 4 times, which I just KNOW I'm going to get nailed on! Marc Summers mentioned it to me as I left and he was so adamant about it and so serious it scared me. He's right. I really need to remember that. It's really very important to remember each and every comment that the selection committee mentions to me, otherwise my butt will be gone. It's critical! Remember it! Today was actually really fun. Our second challenge was in the smaller kitchen with Miriam, the executive sioux chef in the Food Network kitchens. We were challenged to describe a food item and how that food item related to us. I got a rainbow trout and related the story of Leanne and Mark and I fishing on the Klickitat River. I think I needed to be more descriptive about the trout, how I prepared it and focus on the food. I just thought that we were supposed to talk about the food in how it related to us, and that's how the trout related to me. I really hope I'm doing ok. I really don't know where I stand at this point in the competition and that's the hardest part because it makes me feel like my head could be on the chopping block and that's not a great feeling at all. I guess we'll see what happens with the next challenge!

12/7/05:

We had today off except for a photo shoot at 6:00 p.m. We saw "Dung Dang", "Peanut" or just plain old Jess as most people know her. We lovingly refer to her as the first two. Jess is such a sweetheart. It was so good to see her. She sounds like she's buzzing around and having a lot of fun, so I'm really glad to hear that. She is such a cute little peanut, I love her! :0) Tomorrow should be interesting with the new challenges and the competitions to come. I'm looking forward to them of course, but some anxiety always comes with it as well. I mean, I don't want to look like an idiot on camera, which I'm sure is going to happen, in fact HAS happened, will happen at some point, if not a huge majority of the time! Oh well, comes with the territory I guess. As they say, you need to expose yourself. Well, here comes the exposure, I'm just not sure people will want to see it...it's hard to be vulnerable, especially for me...not used to it.

12/8/05:

I have a feeling today it's only going to get harder and harder from here on out. I really need to get it on and rock it today; otherwise my head will be on the chopping block. We've been given the tools to improve and if we don't then we'll be gone. We did a 45-minute prep for a demo today in which we were supposed to project our unique culinary point of view throughout a 5-minute demonstration with a table full of ingredients, kinda like Iron Chef. We needed to incorporate 3 talking points, say the intro, do story-telling, look into the camera, be engaging, show my personality and 43 other things all at the same time. It was quite a challenge. I am feeling pretty good about how everything went today to be honest. We met Sandra Lee today and she had some really good comments for me, which was really nice. It was really great to meet her. She is so beautiful on screen and in person and she truly DOES have a unique culinary point of view. I wasn't aware that she went to Le Cordon Bleu, so that's cool to know. Bob Tushman really drove the point home, emphasizing that it was imperative to define ourselves with a unique culinary point of view. I feel like I brought my unique perspective into the equation by touching on the fact that I grew up on the dairy farm in Washington State with farm fresh produce and meat and taking those simple dishes and adding a French flare utilizing some traditionally French ingredients. I just hope that my unique culinary point of view came across. I did some story telling and spoke to all 3 of my talking points, so that was good I think...at least I hope so. I really wasn't looking forward to the elimination tonight. Beth seemed to think she was going home tonight and it turns out she was right. She was so lovely, elegant, sweet and endearing. I'm just so sorry that she's gone...I love that girl. I can see us being great friends. I think I survived the guillotine for a reason today. I seriously need to step up the pace and bring all that I can to the table...bring the personality...lose the nerves!

12/9/05:

Today's call time was 10:15 a.m. and I got to sleep finally at 3:00 a.m. last night. It was tough losing Beth last night. She's such an amazingly cool gal, I just love her. I'm still playing with my unique culinary point of view and trying to nail that down more. I'm thinking classic American French bistro...using simple ingredients with a French inspiration; making traditionally complex French food more simple using farm fresh meat, dairy and freshly picked produce. AHA!!! I just came up with my unique culinary point of view!!! "SIMPLY FRENCH". Wow I feel so good about getting that nailed down. The only problem may be with twisting that to fit the demos that we've been doing, although I did incorporate traditionally French ingredients like the bacon, onions, mushrooms and cream into the traditionally Italian American pasta dish. Today was really cool because we got to meet the winners of last years show "Dan and Steve". They showed us how to work together and play off of one another. They told us we really needed to pre-think everything out, plan it all in advance, not talk over each other, have fun and smile for no apparent reason (just like the tip from Rachel Ray)! :0) After we met Dan and Steve, we were paired off (I was with Nathan). We were talking about what we thought our demo was going to be and all of a sudden they took me out of the room with Nathan and shoved me into the green room with Evette. We immediately received our breakdowns and the countdown began...what was 20 minutes felt like 2! The demo was...uhm...alright?!?! It certainly could have gone better in my opinion. We just weren't able to work that well together; it was very separate and individual. I think we could have prepared it better so that it would have flowed more smoothly, but it just didn't happen unfortunately. The good point that Dan and Steve mentioned was that we were fun to watch...which is huge. So if nothing else... At the end of the day I can't change it, although I'd LOVE to so I just need to make sure I do great in the next challenge to make up for it. I really need to be on my game.

12/10/05:

Today's call time was 7:15 a.m. It was so cool today because we got to meet Giada DeLaurentis from "Everyday Italian" and "Behind the Bash" and her assistant Irene. They were both so incredibly nice and Giada was so amazingly beautiful in person, even more so than on television. She really taught us to prepare well, know your recipes, minimize the number of steps that you go through for the camera operators, smile for no apparent reason (seems to be the theme with most of the Food Network talent) and multi-task flawlessly. She also taught us to make our job in the kitchen as easy as possible; i.e. it's not necessary to take the blade out of the food processor after you've prepared something, just scoop it out and save yourself a step. She taught us that the little things like this wastes time and makes for boring television. For our challenge today, we had a 45-minute prep and I think everything was perfect. After we did our prep, we immediately went downstairs to take 20 minutes to find anything that we could to make a tablescape. We all ran around like crazy and found our stuff, then we immediately went upstairs and decorated our table. I waited forever to do my demonstration because I was the last person to go and it wound me up like an 8-day clock! I made dill dip in a bread bowl and my famous "Shut your pie hole" clams. The decoration of my table looked really good, and all of the judges seemed to really like it. Bobby and the rest of the judges said they really liked the way all of my food tasted and were very impressed. Once we were done with everything at the Food Network, we went back home (we thought to rest for the night). After arriving home at around 11:30 p.m., we went to the common room and found out we had another challenge...to decorate cupcakes for the next morning! Well we were all just spent and this was the very last thing that we wanted to do to be honest. Tonight the selection committee gave me some feedback. They say that I really need to have a culinary point of view and give the audience an idea of who I am by storytelling; explain why it is that I love food and what it means to me. I need to stop offering substitutions for everything...i.e. "if you don't have dried, use fresh, if you don't have crimini mushrooms, use portobellos". It's so hard because I'm a huge Food Network viewer and I thought that's what you were supposed to do. They say that when I do this it doesn't show authority and I need to make each dish my own and explain to the audience why they should make my dish this way. I understand it I think, although it can be confusing at times. I'm sure I'll figure it out...I've got to!

12/11/05:

Today was really extraordinarily tough for me. After all of the negative feedback and stress and pressure from yesterday, my stress level was really up there. I stayed up until 4 a.m. last night decorating cupcakes. It took me so long to find inspiration and to decorate, I think just because I was so pooped out! So I got up at 6:30 a.m., and on 1-½ hours of sleep we got in the van to go to the studio...we thought! We actually ended up going to "Sur La Table" to do a cupcake demo. We met Dave Lieberman and watched him do a demo. It was really cool to meet him. He was so nice and very cute in person with a great personality. He taught us to engage our audience, try to get them involved immediately, not be too "professor-ish" and to just have fun. I did my cupcake demo in front of the live audience and for some reason it was a little nerve-wracking. I didn't really do as well as I had hoped. I just wasn't myself and I didn't let it flow naturally, it wasn't my finest hour to say the least. We left "Sur La Table" and came back and walked into studio b into a classroom setup. We all pretty much knew that we were going to be meeting Alton Brown. We were all right! Alton came right in and was so flipping amazing, it was incredible! He was so engaging and so confident. He made me just want to listen to every single thing that was coming out of his mouth. I was so inspired by all that he said. He really made me think and dig, find my niche and fine-tune my unique culinary point of view. He is such an intelligent and intriguing person. I learned so much from him and just wanted to implement everything he had taught me as soon as possible. I hadn't nailed everything down yet but he really got me thinking. We immediately left his classroom for Chelsea market and began the market challenge. We needed to scout out locations to do a field piece that related to our unique culinary point of view. I had a hard time finding something that I thought would work for me and left today not knowing for sure what I am going to do my field piece on, which leaves me in a bad situation. We left Chelsea market and went upstairs and immediately went into another challenge. Our challenge this time was to create a gift basket expressing our unique culinary point of view to present to the judges tomorrow, along with our 1-minute field piece and pitch. I put together a beautiful and extravagant basket. It had lavender infused Provencal style honey, chocolate dipped dried fruits, wonderful cheeses, fresh fruits, huge and gorgeous chocolate and all of the things that remind me of France. I wrapped it and finished it up with hand written labels on everything. So, I'm home now and feeling a little down about not knowing for sure what my fieldpiece will be on. I just need to hammer out a plan or else I'm going home. Tomorrow I really need to make this happen or I'm in trouble!

12/12/05:

Today was a really great day! I woke up this morning on very little sleep, but ready to take ownership of my time here. I stayed up and researched the Chelsea Wine Vault and formulated a plan for today's field piece on wine. I thought it would go really well with the "Simply French" concept. I've really had a rough couple of days but need to prove myself and make this happen now! There's no time to mess around and not be in the zone. I needed to get my game on today and bring it! I got up early and immediately went into Chelsea Market to scope out the wine store that I'd settled on for my 1-minute field piece. I got everything down and we went to the green room one by one to do our field piece. I really, truly enjoyed this so much and had such a good time working with the audio guy, the cameraman and everyone involved in the process. I got some good tips from Alton, who was wandering around checking in on us. He gave me some suggestions, which I really listened to. It was very interesting because we talked a little bit about just playing down the sexiness and relating a bit more to my audience on their level. He really is brilliant. Alton was so helpful and I'm so glad I got the chance to meet him. It has been a true highlight to get the opportunity to interact with him one-on-one. Once we were done I went to editing and was so interested in the whole process, it was so cool to experience. I loved it! I'm so exhausted now, I just need to go to bed and sleep. See you tomorrow!

12/13/05:

So last night I stayed up all night essentially. I got 3 hours of sleep trying to prepare for my pitch today. We really were under a lot of pressure to pitch our unique culinary point of view, present our gift baskets and our one-minute field piece to the selection committee. It was a really long night, knowing that if I didn't nail this, that I was going home. The hard work really paid off. I nailed it, according to the selection committee. I really felt pretty comfortable giving my pitch and got a lot of nods during the process, which is always a good sign! Alton came and talked to me before I did my pitch and he was so cool to me. He just said to "let it all go" and to just be me...which I tried hard to do. I really think that it worked for me. Andy was eliminated tonight and I don't think he saw it coming. It's so tough because none of us really knows. It feels so completely random and so hard to step out of the box to figure it out. I'm so exhausted, I've just got to go to sleep.

12/14/05:

So today we came in and were ushered immediately downstairs into Chelsea Market to the Food Network retail space. We had no idea what to expect and no clue as to what we were doing. We walk in and there's the whole setup. We meet with Carri Welch, the PR manager and she tells us that we are going to do a "meet and eat" with the press. Oh, by the way...the press just happens to be TV Guide. Too cool! We are supposed to demo one of our appetizers (mine were shrimp puffs), and talk about what we did and how we did it, etc. with everyone from the press. It was really fun. After that we did our 5-minute demo in front of the TV guide executives. I made my "Double Double Bacon Cheese Quiche" and "Mom's Spicy Bloody Mary's". I did a great job according to the judges. They were really happy to hear the stories about my mom, see my personality, handle the press so well and just have fun with it all. I am so happy that it went well; I needed this! We had another elimination tonight and it turns out that Nate went home. It's too bad really, because I know he was trying really hard to improve, like we all are I suppose. It was very emotional. These eliminations are nothing short of gut wrenching. Now it's just down to Reggie, Guy and myself...gotta step up the pace!

12/15/05:

So today we did "The Early Show" with Julie Chen. Reggie, Guy and I all had such a great time. Julie was such a beautiful lady and what a great experience! Wow! And what a green room! I thought we all did really well too. After that we came right back to the Food Network Studios and immediately went into elimination. I seriously didn't know what was going to happen and felt pretty prepared for anything. The selection committee talked to Reggie and I knew, or at least thought that I knew based on what they told Reggie, that I might be going home. I knew going in that it was going to be between Guy and myself. Ultimately Bobby said he loved my food but I just didn't get it done. Unfortunately I had to go and it really sucked because if I only could have made it through to one more round! I'm really disappointed but there's not a darn thing that I can do about it, so I just need to get another show somewhere else! :0) This may not have worked out for now, but it just means that something else WILL work out. I can't wait. What an absolutely amazing experience! I've had such an incredible time here. I can even begin to explain how thankful I am. I think I went out on a good note after I was eliminated, I hugged everyone and thanked everyone and held it together pretty well. The hardest part was just leaving everyone and letting go of the experience. I hated that. I wanted to stay and continue and have another challenge and another day to live on. It's not ok, but it will be ok and I'll figure it out.

12/18/05:

So today was really completely cool because we were all re-united with everyone to have Guy and Reggie cook for us. It was so great to see everyone and to share a meal together. After we all saw each other again, we went to the wrap party. It was really nice to just be able to chitchat casually with everyone there. Everyone involved in this project has been so amazing, I can't even begin to describe it. From the Food Network kitchens, to the audio guys, the cameramen, producers, programming, wardrobe, makeup, everyone at the Food Network and CBS...I just feel so lucky to have met all of these completely incredible people. It's been so great to truly understand this whole production, what really happens behind the scenes and just share in this whole opportunity together. I wouldn't change the experience for the world. It was hugely difficult, very stressful and so unbelievably incredible. I LOVED IT!!! What I DO know out of all of this is that I CAN do this! I WILL do this, in one way, shape or form this will happen! It may not have happened today, but I'm going to make it happen...that you can be sure of! In the interim, I'll do some personal chef'ing, give individual and group culinary classes and instruction, be involved culinary-wise in any way that I can and try in whatever way that I can to get involved with my own show somehow. I'm soooo looking forward to the future!!! :0) A great big thank you to everyone involved in this project and allowing me to be a part of it and share myself and my experience with you all. It's really been wonderful.